Waiting

Many of us hate waiting. Beyond that, many of us expect not to wait, to the point that being made to wait is a personal offense. We dislike people who drive too slow and teachers who do not immediately return graded assignments. We may get annoyed when the line at the store is long or when our friend takes too long to text us back. We have drive-thrus, high speed internet, instant messaging, and microwave dinners. It isn't that these things are bad (though our attitudes might be), they simply show that our society values doing things quickly.

I have done a lot of waiting recently. After applying to the US-2 program through the United Methodist church, I waited several weeks before I was invited to the interview and discernment days. After the interview, I waited a little over 2 months before receiving my acceptance to the program in late April. I waited another 7 weeks or so before receiving my initial placement last Tuesday.

I was excited to finally receive a potential placement! It was nice to know where I might go, because people have been constantly asking me about my future plans and where I am going. It gets tiring to continually say, "I don't know yet." (especially in a society where we are expected to have it all figured out.) I was interested in the placement's ministry and it was in a great location for me. However, yesterday it was determined that this will not be my placement, and I will be assigned another instead. I am back to waiting.

This process has revealed a lot about the state of my heart. I have frequently been anxious, worried, and impatient. Where will I be going? Will I be living in the east or the west? The north or the south? What will I be doing? Will I be able to enter into the community? What will my church be like? Will I have everything I need? Will I be able to see my family, friends, and boyfriend? Will I be in a city or in a rural area?

I don't see a problem in having these thoughts. The problem arises when I become impatient about knowing the answers to my questions, and when I fail to bring my fears before God. Scripture teaches that God will take care of what we need, and our responsibility is to seek His kingdom. (Matthew 6:25-34) I don't need to worry about these things, because I know that God is faithful, and His faithfulness will not change when my address changes.



Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. 

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.